Skip to content

Posts from the ‘Birth Stories’ Category

100 year old Community activist is getting evicted. Help us help her secure new housing! Please share or donate! TIA

https://www.gofundme.com/f/100-year-old-mary-sharer-loses-housing?lid=4cogyshw2nba

Please

Project 2025 Ideology Affects Pregnant Women’s Access to PRENATAL CARE

nashvillebanner.com/2025/07/20/doctor-denies-pregnant-woman-care/

The NICU Bullies

This is going to be a new series about my experience with workplace bullying. Bullying that was aimed at me. Even with witnesses- nothing was EVER done to help me.

Any of you fellow NICU nurses may find things familiar. Has it happened to you? When I get into details about our shift and what went on…… that’s later…

I will just start with this…

It’s always these tormented sleepless nights when my barely healed scars are acutely dissected into fresh wounds as I relive those viscous hateful assassinations of my character. Repeatedly wondering what I did to be treated like that. So they can flip their pretty manes and go on with their lives as if nothing happened. But for me- my entire life changed. Just in case you ever wonder if people get over how you treat them. Some of us don’t or can’t.

Workplace bullying is life changing for the victim. LIFE CHANGING-  Especially myself, who had been a very strong clinician possessing excellent skills, forward progressive thinking, placing new evidence-based info into practice, compassionate, a real leader and teacher of staff and families being reduced to a bubble of tears and unable to function. 

I had a nervous breakdown

I was unable to ever return to work.

Shouldn’t those responsible be held accountable? 

A New Birth

I finally retired from the hospital!!

44 YEARS filled with life!

I know I haven’t posted here in a long time

So very much to say

I have some more birth stories, baby stories and work life stories to tell

I have some very difficult stories to tell

SO— I have been quiet for so long because I wasn’t ready to share my whole story.

THE NICU BULLY

One Victim’s story

New Stories Coming Soon……..

Yes You Can Breastfeed with COVID19

Credit: NiDerLander

Copyright: NiDerLander

I’ve been approached with many questions about pregnancy and or breastfeeding with this virus. #Covid19

In many cases YES you CAN Breastfeed!

There is still so much unknown about this new #coronavirus .

For that reason, the experts with the most up to date info follow CDC recommended guidances for both protecting yourself thru pregnancy and breastfeeding.

Please review these CDC guidelines and discuss with Your and your babies health care providers for Pregnancy and Breastfeeding !

PELVIC REST

WHAT IS PELVIC REST and why would we say to do that?
Prenatal care is designed to watch moms closely during pregnancy. Sometimes there is the need to see a perinatologist or Maternal Fetal Medicine (MFM) doctor. When a pregnant momma has obvious signs of trouble like bleeding long before her due date or has shown signs of effacing early on… or dilating early… when she has had symptoms of preterm labor or runs of preterm labor with or without cervical changes– they often will tell her to have Pelvic Rest. This isn’t bed rest—- this is PELVIC REST to avoid introducing bacteria, stimulating contractions or start labor early.

Right now as I write this–> we have a full NICU of 26 to 33 weekers. You don’t want your baby born that early– you really don’t…….. After a rash of moms who didn’t realize their activity may cause preterm labor even though they “felt OK at the time” and engaged in the activity after being placed on pelvic rest…. I felt like- WELL—>

Maybe somebody just really has to say it ALL !
This is supposed to be a little bit funny!


Sometimes there is a partner
who pushes for a little intimacy and well— maybe you feel bad for him or her and/or maybe you want t0…… We know it’s difficult. You may want the intimacy or the connection.  If this partner is not also on pelvic rest–> you could be creative to get the connection so long as you adhere to the list below.

I am so sorry to have to really spell it out but……

This Means:

  • NOTHING in the vagina……..    Not a penis, Not a finger or thumb, Not a toe, Not a tongue, Not a lip, Not a dildo, Not a sex toy, Not anything in the house you can make into a dildo or sex toy, Not anything in the house that can FIT into the vagina, Not anything you may purchase or get outside your home that can fit into the vagina EVEN if the package does say “Sterile” on the outside!
  • No Crotch/Genital Stimulation or Rubbing   with or without your partner…. (or with anyone who isn’t your partner). This includes but not limited to: No rubbing of your genitals with those of another, No rubbing with hand, No licking, No labia sucking or hickeys, No clitoral sucking, No blowing of air into the vagina
  • No Orgasm.     I’m sorry- that is not good news. I know- but an orgasm can cause powerful uterine contractions. This means no orgasm brought on intentionally by any type of activity including nipple stimulation.
  • No Anal Sex of Any Kind.    Unless you are applying hemorrhoid ointments or inserting a suppository…. everything listed for genitals above includes the anus.
  • No new Piercings.     You will need to keep your current piercings clean.
  • No Prostitution activity.  Yep- I really said that. It happens.
  • No Swimming or Tub Baths as directed by your provider. We encourage regular hygiene of course.
  • No Heavy Lifting —ask your provider for amt of weight safe for you.
  • No Exerting Exercise activity — again— ask your provider for amt of exercise safe for you… it is usually limited to gentle stretching exercise or gentle stretching yoga.

I say all those above because I have seen ALL of them and more and the momma has claimed … “but you didn’t say that“!

Sorry 😦

Did I forget anything???

Happy to be a NICU Nurse Week w/ Video

Happy belated International Day of the Midwife

Happy Nurses Day

Here is a great video on what it means to be a NICU nurse

Here’s some live action of stabilizing a preemie…

Amazing Woman has an Amazing Home Water Birth

Go GINA GO!

I lit my Blessingway candle in the wee hours of the morning when I saw that her labor at home was underway.

I faced the candle in a window towards her home 1500 miles away.

I like how the reflection makes it appear as though the light keeps spreading west towards her…….

sending love and support…..

Not only did she have a VBAC today–

She had a HOME VBAC !!

AND during Cesarean Awareness Month!

Gina of The Feminist Breeder is one of the most courageous women I have ever met!

Yep- I met her! She invited me … little ole me… to her Blessingway in March when I happened to be in town. I was so incredibly excited to meet her and all her fabulous birth team! Yep- I’m in that Blessingway post she did.

Photo of the TFB Blessingway Group

Here’s one of the beads I gave her for her necklace.

ICAN Cesarean Awareness Bead

Congratulations Gina and John!

Welcome Jolene!

But it’s her story to tell……. Head over to her blog and check the coolest EVER live blog birth event. The whole thing can be read and viewed from last night thru til this morning. The audio and video clips are for QuickTime player and each clip may take a few moments to load before you can push play.

I had it on today … at work… in the NICU and took the opportunity to try to educate..

Thanks for sharing Gina!

I am so so happy for you!

Success! You CAN Do it Right with a Preemie!

Short Little Success Story

Recently had to attend a birth for a 34 weeker who had been threatening labor since 32 weeks. She had been given a regimen of steroids and antibiotics per our protocols. The parents had a beautiful birth plan. They wanted Skin to Skin at birth, baby nursing before any separation and were adamantly against formula if at all possible. Both were frightened of the preterm birth, worried for their child’s safe transition and concerned that none of their wishes would be carried out.
I had the opportunity to discuss some of these with the Neonatologist and the parents before the birth. The doc was all for doing as much as they’d wished for at birth (that we could) provided the baby did not require respiratory support…

The baby was delivered hollering at us, alert and pinked up nicely! After observing and examining him for a short period, the doc gave the go ahead for Skin to Skin as long as I could stay and observe. Happy to oblige, I had that 4 LB naked baby up on mom in no time surrounded by her warmth and love.
I did the babies first glucose check (while STS) which was at a great level. Mom proceeded to start latch attempts. The baby did nuzzle and lick the copious colostrum she offered but wasn’t able to accomplish a latch. Vitals were stable, they were snuggling… but by an hour– the Neo was getting antsy. I had to take him in to the NICU with Dad in tow. No resp symptoms. Pink stable and alert. Placed up on the warmer table and connected to all the monitors for observation, he had his second glucose check. We expect it to drop at this time which is the normal nadir. It was however 38 which meant we had to feed. I asked for 5 min. This mom had a copious colostrum flow. The baby was not symptomatic. I had another RN watch him while I scooted back to L&D with a pump and small collecting cups. I figured we may have to hand express because many moms don’t respond to a pump quickly. This mom did respond and in a few minutes we had about 10 ml !!
I took that right in to the NICU leaving mom to finish a pumping session. We syringe fed the 10 ml and a subsequent glucose check was 54. Mom sent in a container of 15 more ml 🙂
They got to have a beautiful experience with their preterm boy who never got any formula … at least not in the NICU before discharge.

Yay!

*Promote NORMAL Birth and Breastfeeding* & more New Year’s Resolution Ideas for all my Co-Workers… Any Ideas?

I am continually working (baby steps- a little bit at a time) on improving what we do to care for the moms and babies in my little neck of the woods. Sometimes it feels exciting, positive and helpful….. but other times frustrating or futile.

Since I have been recently consumed with my newest career as a NICU nurse, I have seen some of my earlier successes of positive changes (on the mother baby unit and L&D)…. slowly. turn. back. to previous bad practices ….. I come over to the units and I see so many of the older traditional care models in place again which we had worked hard to place in a vault! You get new doctors, new nurses, new anesthesiologists etc… and they don’t give a crap about any guidelines or protocols for a natural process! However if the CDC changes their Hepatitis B, HIV or  GBS protocols… they are all over it….  In. A. Heartbeat.

Why is it so hard for these professionals to relinquish control over all aspects of the birth process? Why can’t they look at any of that research? Why aren’t any of the recommendations for encouraging VBAC, discouraging scheduled CS’s without a TOL or keeping mother and baby together while delaying routine procedures taken as seriously?? Why?

I think I know why…I do.  But that isn’t really what I wanted to talk about today.

I want to provide some encouraging – positive – inspirational ideas for my fellow nurses, practitioner or heathcare provider to do what is best for each mother and baby in their car. Even if you all pick just one… it can make a difference. So don’t feel overwhelmed. Just try to add at least one of these to YOUR daily practice.  These suggestions are meant for situations without complications requiring urgent intervention of some kind.

Readers: Please ADD more in comments if you have them!

  • Promote and Preserve NORMAL Physiologic Birth……  Try NOT to interfere. Please really find out what that means if you don’t know. Seriously. (sorry but please… my friends… it’s not about hurrying it up or getting it over with and closing out the chart!)
  • Spend time each month reviewing Evidence-Based practice recommendations and changes with regards to Birth and Breastfeeding. You’ll learn something!
  • SKIN TO SKIN…if you do nothing else… make THIS your project for EVERY mother/baby in your care. If you do this for them– nature can have a chance. Get them S2S at birth and several times each day to help with breastfeeding! (this one is my favorite!)
  • Yes… Skin to Skin can be done in the O.R. Teach your fellow co-workers when just DO it!! Come on TRY IT!
  • Keep a mother’s wishes at the forefront of your plan of care. Her birth plan is very important to her! Advocate for her and empower her. This is her birth, not yours.
  • Advocate and Empower your patient to make truly informed decisions about her care. If she doesn’t have the right information to make a real INFORMED decision, please help her get the information or provide it for her!
  • Embrace the idea and recommend Doulas to your patients. Keep a list of local doulas available and provide them at prenatal visits or out-pt testing.
  • Question the doctor/midwife when an induction and or Cesarean is scheduled. Just ask why and discuss… Bring up points you’ve learned in your reading and find out the practitioners reasons for inducing. There is a way to discuss without challenging. Sometimes –> everyone learns from such a discussion. Perhaps the practitioner will realize his reasons for some cases may not be appropriate.. who knows?
  • Breastfeeding and Formula feeding are not equal choices and remember it is inappropriate to indicate to a mother directly or indirectly that they are equal. She deserves correct information before making an informed choice. Utilize teachable moments to discuss the superiority of Human breast milk as the food for human infants. Show her where she can get more information before making a decision. Honor her decisions once she has made them.
  • Keep the baby with the mother until the FIRST Breastfeed has taken place. Please delay all your routine procedures and help the mother (if needed) to start breastfeeding! This is recommended by ALL the experts.
  • Keep the baby with the mother AT ALL TIMES. Almost everything we do can be done at the mother’s bedside. Think about it.
  • Keep the baby with the mother AT ALL TIMES means at night too. Separating mother and baby so “Mom can rest” had been shown to be a barrier to successful breastfeeding. Encourage frequent feedings based on feeding cues.
  • Teach and empower the mother. Include how to recognize feeding cues, signs of an effective feeding with appropriate latch, and how to recognize an overall good feeding pattern.
  • Support the mother, support the mother, support the mother.

For some more ideas.. I have numerous previous posts about breastfeeding education, support and sited references such as the Coalition for Improving Maternity Services Ten Steps for example and other important issues.